Into The Ocean
by ThatClutzsarahh
Summary: There are slight...changes without him there. Olivia notices the gap in her heart.


**a quick glimpse into a future without Elliot. HUGE E/O shipper here, but E/O friendship mostly, E/O if you squint.**

**Feedback is welcome and loved (DEEPLY!)**

**I own only the typos.**

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><p>Olivia doesn't blame her new partner for what's happened. It's not his fault he's a rookie. He's just got big shoes to fill. Olivia knew it from the day she helped Elliot pack his things up, clearing his desk off. He even took the picture of the two of them with him, and she was left without a frame to remember him by and a wooden desk shoved up against hers. Deep down in her heart, she'd miss him more than she'd care to admit, and so she hugged him goodbye by his car with the promise that they will see each other soon.<p>

Her new partner isn't hard on the eyes. He's much much younger than herself, very slim and fresh from the academy. He's got a personal background in sex crimes and the ADA found him a perfect fit for this unit. He's neat and organized and up to date. All his reports are done on time. His locker is impersonal and neat, just like he is, clean shaven and cut sharply. All the cases stay neatly in folders on his desk, they do not spill onto her desk.

So no, she doesn't blame him for what's happened.

She should have known, through all the quirks and differences, that he wasn't going to hold her back like Elliot did. As she sits, slumped against the bricks, hand on a bleeding chest wound, she can't help but notice and nit-pick at each little difference between her two partners, starting with the fact that this new partner has gone down the hallway, after the suspect. So as Olivia sits against the wall and applies pressure, she stares with the fact that if it were Elliot on her 6, the man wouldn't be fleeing down the alley, he'd be on the floor and Liv would be in Elliot's arms as his fingers apply more pressure than hers ever could. It's clear this rookie is gun shy, his hand wavering even before they entered.

He may have been neat, but he was a mess inside. He could barely hold himself together in front of a victims family, and she had to do all the talking. While Elliot's presence was dominant and sure, confident that justice would be brought, her new partner would sit-not stand-next to her as she tried to console. Olivia knew if it were her child murdered, this man would not be the person she'd put on the case. But she originally brushed the thought off as being a cop.

Obviously that wasn't it.

She gave him the benefit of the doubt. While she drank coffee and talked with Fin and Munch, he sat at his desk cleaning his gun. Elliot would make paper airplanes. He couldn't shot his way out of a plastic bag. Elliot was _almost _trigger happy. And Olivia chalked up all these things to being a rookie.

But no one, _no one_ should ever freeze at a fire fight. And the fact that she had been shot in the chest really didn't help much. Or the fact that her new partner was now back, without a suspect. It only meant one thing, he had gotten away.

"Olivia," he said with a confident tone and a shrugged, "He got away."

Olivia exploded just then. "What do you mean he 'got away?"

"He turned down an alley," her partner shrugged, "But don't worry, I called a bus for you and alerted the units in the area."

"Oh that's _fucking_ fantastic," Olivia sighed, "You called a bus. You should have called the M.E. because I'm almost dead, here!"

Then her new partner did something that made her want to shoot him. He rolled his eyes. With jaw clenched, she stared at him, her hard gaze and he flinched away from her. He stood over her, listening to the sirens, not even bothering to help her apply pressure on her chest.

"I'll go get the bus," he said, and, without an answer he jogged off towards the edge of the alley, leaving her alone, again, bleeding and defenseless. _Another mistake_, she said bitterly to herself. With a frown she leaned her head back against the bricks, feeling the cold seeping into her bones. She looked up at the stars, or what she could see of the stars, and listened to the sirens. Olivia felt as if the bullet wasn't the only heavy thing in her heart right now. Her head hadn't been on straight for a long time. And it wasn't because she was adjusting to her new workplace. And it wasn't because her partner was new.

It's because her partner _wasn't_ Elliot.

She never really realized just how much she needed him until now. There was just too much space between her partner and her now. There wasn't a trust between them, no bond. He would never understand her for being her, and thus he would never allow her the chance to understand him. He was a kid, after all. But he wasn't Elliot, and that's why her heart hurts more than a normal bullet wound. There was most _definitely_ a large _hole_ in which Elliot had just up and taken with him, wherever he was. Was he looking up at the same New York skyline right now?

_Hell no._

Elliot probably left the first minute he could. He had other things to do with his life other than being tied down here in New York. And while Elliot could leave, Olivia could never abandon the world she felt inclined to live in. Olivia was stuck, in the perfect rut while Elliot ran free in time and space, without a care on his mind. He had promised he'd think of her. But she knew him. He'd been gone on the first flight out.

Olivia felt her body becoming numb and the sirens were fading. Briefly she wondered if he even _called_ a bus or thought he did. She knew she wasn't dying, but judging by the steady stream of warm red blood pouring over her small fingers, she was losing more blood than her conscious could handle. With each passing moment, she felt the strength leaving her hand, fingers slipping away. And the only thing she could think of there, was how Elliot would have never allowed this to happen to her, he would have never allowed her to sit in an alley by herself bleeding out staring at the black and gold stars, fuzzy and fading. He would have been the anchor to reality. He would have been the black to her gold star.

And without him, she's floating away into nothing. She's becoming nothing but matter. And it scares the _shit_ out of her.

Because without Elliot, nothing seems to matter.

At first when she felt it, she thought she was dreaming. As she felt the warm tears sting her cheeks, she felt a strong hand, large fingers, running under her small one. She tore her head away from watching the stars for a moment to find eyes so familiar, such a beacon. She blinked, trying to validate what she was seeing. The whole time, warm blood soaking two hands over her heart.

"Elliot?"

He gave her a lopsided grin and looked into her eyes, "Didn't really think I'd be leaving you?"

"Ho-How'd you find me?" she breathed, eyes narrowed in accusation.

"I doubt Cragen would let you go with a rookie after a perp by yourself," he said with a shrugged, "Probably would get yourself shot."

"Funny."

With his hand pushing pressure on her wound, her fogged brain slowly became clearer and she heard the sirens much closer now. Her head drooping, she looked at the blood running over his arm and his white shirt. It was the combination that made her blurt out the next words.

"I miss you."

Elliot gave her a soft smile and took his other hand to stroke her cheek lightly, before brushing back some of her hair.

"I miss you too."

Suddenly, lights filled the alley and Olivia watched as her new partner jogged back, the ambulance following him. He took note as Olivia's hand gripped Elliot's wrist over her wound, over her heart.

The shoes he had to fill would never fit him.


End file.
